Pageant News Bureau - Miss Florida USA 2004

The lessons of Florida

Photos by Paul Fong / PNB

The Top 5 (left to right) Ashley Buchanan, fourth runner-up; Shannon Smith, third Runner-up; Kristen Berset, Miss Florida USA 2004, Kristina Wright, first runner-up; LauRen Merola, second runner-up.

Early in 2004, millions of people will gather around their television sets and watch the Miss USA Pageant. Some of them will be watching for the first time.

That first viewing can be a formidable experience, one you will never forget. Last year, one apple-cheeked acolyte was heard to ask, "Who are those women, Mommy? And why are they wearing those swimsuits when there's no water? And why won't you let Daddy watch?"

Sorry, Cheeky, we can't answer that last question. But for Miss USA beginners, and for befuddled pageant veterans, we can explain a few things about the coming pageant. We'll give you basic facts that will enhance your viewing pleasure.

Ilustrating this lesson are photographs shot by PNB's Paul Fong at the Miss Florida USA Pageant. It took place in July 2003. And if you're wondering why we didn't show you the photos then, you are being unreasonable. We obviously were not going to show you pictures of beautiful women without some context. That would be wrong in this era of multitasking.

Here are the facts:

1. The gorgeous women you will see on the screen are the Miss USA contestants, officially known as delegates. They are from the 50 U.S. states and the District of Columbia. Among them will be Kristen Berset, who won the Miss Florida USA title. (The other women shown in this feature will not be in the 2004 Miss USA Pageant, but there's always next year.)

2. The women will be wearing swimsuits because they want to show their fitness. It's the same reason starlets wear see-through dresses to awards shows.

3. One delegate will win the title of Miss USA. Some others will be runners-up, and still others will be finalists or semifinalists. Most will not finish with any specific ranking, but all 51 will always be part of an elite group, the most beautiful women in the world's only superpower.

4. This is a beauty competition. It's not a quiz show or a talent contest. All the women have fine characters, but you won't have to hear about it. They are on the Miss USA stage because they look good. And that's why you watch.

We would tell you more about the Miss USA Pageant, but we don't know anything more. And if little Cheeky isn't satisfied, all we can say is, "How do you like them apples?"