Pageant News Bureau - Cheerleaders

Reach for the ceiling!
You just might get there

Photos by Benjamin Gibbs / PNB

Were women meant to fly? It's an age-old question. The greatest minds of science have wrestled with it, unofficially, before moving on to less difficult matters. Some geniuses have speculated that the riddle could never be solved.

But PNB has found the answer. And we didn't do it with equations. We just took a look at the girls of Tennessee.

They can fly, at least for short differences. They can float in midair, at least very briefly. And they can reach up to the sky, as long as they have a strong hand to stand on.

Here we have photographic proof, from Tennessee's renowned Benjamin Gibbs. Women trying out to be cheerleaders for the Tennessee Titans show a range of motion undreamt of by Sir Isaac Newton.

Of course, no scientific finding is complete without a theory to explain it. Here's our theory: A mysterious force is exerted when beautiful women compete against each other, and it supersedes all the other laws of physics. We call it the Pageant Factor.

Does this finding have any practical significance? Perhaps not, but if it encourages more scientific awareness, we will be content. The world needs more amateur Einsteins, more budding Galileos, more . . . cheerleaders.

Reach for the ceiling!You just might get there

Reach for the ceiling!
You just might get there